The Cruelty of Memories
by Yugilina Babyblue
Summary: Happy endings are stories that haven’t finished yet, nightmares are stories that refuse to stop. For Edward Elric he had no clue that his happy ending was about to turn into his own personal hell.


**The Cruelty of Memories**

By: YugilinaBabyblue

Chapter One

Sparkling Angel I believed, you were my savior in my time of need.

**Disclaimer**: Well I don't own FMA because if I did there would be a hell of a lot more Ed Roy stuff yaoi:P

And I don't own any of the characters as much as I'd like to!  Also I would like to point out that I don't own the lyrics that will be the titles to each chapter.!

**Summary: **Happy endings are stories that haven't finished yet, nightmares are stories that refuse to stop. For Edward Elric he had no clue that his happy ending was about to turn into his own personal hell.

**Author Note: **Although this is not my first fanfic, it is my first at attempting to write FMA. SO here is what's in it

AU, Yaoi (boys fucking the brains out of other boys if you hate it then stay the fuck out!) anyways, maybe **slight** OOC, Give me a break and try to remember people change when things like this happen. And of course Abuse or rather Horrific Domestic Violence.

I hope you enjoy!! Flames are acceptable as long as they aren't stupid!

"Edward …" she whispered as she approached the stark white hospital bed. It hurt to see him like this, so weak and defenseless.

"Why … why didn't you tell us?" There was no response as she solemnly stared at the fragile being that was once Edward Elric.

"Didn't you think we could have helped you?" she asked, her voice barely audible. In truth it felt more as if she was asking herself. She wondered if there really was anything she could have done to help her young friend. But the past was something that no one could change, no matter how cruel the present seemed to be. So she stood there, hoping Winry and Alphonse had received the message and would get there soon.

'Al … I'm so sorry.' She thought, remembering the promise they had all made to him. There was a side of her that felt a sense of dread at the thought of Al's reaction. The Elrics didn't deserve for this to happen to them. But then when had life ever been fair when it came to them.

Her crimson eyes shimmered with unspoken tears. She had to be strong, which was a really hard task to accomplish without the support she was used to. The same support she thought Edward was receiving. However, if he had been she wouldn't be here, standing all alone, silently watching as this young man that she'd known for years struggled to survive. At this point no one was sure if he could after what her once infallible Colonel did to him.

"Ri . . .za" his voice was just audible, but she heard it.

"Fullmetal!" She said a bit relieved, and saddened, as his eyes were barely able to open and look up at her.

She almost could have broken down and cried as she glanced into the once defiant eyes. Eyes that at the moment looked so broken. If the Colonel had hoped to tame the wildfire the Fullmetal Alchemist once was, he had not only accomplished his goal, but made sure that he could never come back. She wished there could have been a small chance that she was wrong. In her heart she knew that if he survived, no matter how hard he tried to fool them, Edward Elric would never be the same again. She saw the desperation in his eyes, and could tell Ed wanted to say more, but the strain was too hard on his frail body.

Once again, the question that had come to mind from the moment she had seen him, rose within her. 'Why?'

"Why didn't you tell us?" She never intended for the question to be voiced, but as the tears started to trickle down her face she couldn't contain it anymore.

He once again struggled, using the rest of his strength to answer, and proceeded to pass out. She was stunned as the words rang in her head over and over again.

"You would have never believed me." And she knew he was right, no one, not even Fuery would have thought the Colonel could do something like this.

"Forgive me…Edward." she said dejectedly, as she gave his pale hand a light squeeze.

She knew that now was the time to take action. She took a moment to regain her composure, turned on her heel, and approached the dull white door.

As she turned the knob an overwhelming sense of emotion quickly passed by her.Riza realized that she would be the one to break the news to the younger Elric. In fact, she would be responsible to break the news to everyone.

At this moment, she was the only one other than Edward and Roy himself who knew. In a way the knowledge scared her, at this moment she felt more alone than ever as she realized that she would have to be the one to take care of Edward. She alone would have to come up with a plan, and make sure no one doubted what her own eyes had witnessed.

She had just witnessed the result of silence, a horrible silence that she herself almost wanted to keep. Almost, because she knew that if she did it would get Edward no where. She had to trust that the people she knew would help out until Al and Winry could get here. For that one second of weakness, she tapped into but a glimpse of the agonizing doubt the Fullmetal alchemist's mind hand endured for months.

She shook her head, taking time to call upon the Hawkeye strength she was known and respected for. Once calmed down she took a breath and walked out into the hallway. She headed over towards a seat in close proximity of the room, taking another moment to try and plan out who she needed to talk to and what exactly to tell Alphonse.

Despite her desire to focus on the task at hand, her mind kept drifting to the words the Fullmetal Alchemist had said before losing consciousness. It was a rude awakening to realize how sick the whole situation would have been had he ever even tried to approach them. Not only would they not have believed him, but reprimanded him for saying such things about their Colonel.

She could be wrong … but right now she didn't have time to think about the past. She needed to concentrate on the dilemma at hand. She needed to find a way to get help from the other subordinates without that Colonel knowing. And although what Ed had said was true, a saddening thought passed her mind. Riza knew the others would never doubt her because of how much she-no, how much she once respected and cared for the Colonel.

The mind is a powerful thing, the one feature that humans can never truly know the extent of, is how much information it can store. At this moment Edward was entering into the depths of his own mind and realizing just how vividly it could remember some of the most traumatic experiences.

It always started with one of the happier days he shared with the Colonel.

"_I swear you bastard colonel one of these days I'm gonna-" the ranting of the young blonde was quickly silenced by the feel of his lover's lips on his own. Oh, how he hated when the man did that. He knew just what to do to get him too shut up._

"_You always do that on purpose." The flustered alchemist said as he tried to regain his breath._

"_Now that's unfair Fullmetal." The older one said with a smirk. He always knew just how to ruffle the shorter ones feathers to get him to make those loveable faces Roy had grown to adore._

"_What's not? You're the one that rudely interr-" and once again he gave a groan of irritation as his commanding officer found another way to embarrass him further._

"_I can't help it, your lips just screamed 'shut me up and kiss me.' I had to comply." Roy gave a small chuckle as Ed just gave a huffy look of defeat._

"_Do you always have to be such an asshole?"_

"_No, sometimes I'm just an ass." The colonel retorted as his young lover gave him a playful punch in the arm._

"_I swear if I didn't love you-"_

"_But you do, are you done picking fights with me so we can go home?" _

"_Never, but home sounds nice." In a way Fullmetal was almost brought to tears as he realized he finally had a home again. With Al at Reseembol, he'd just stayed at the dorms. Today was the day when he could finally join Roy on the journey home, to their home, and he really liked the sound of that._

Home … it's funny how quickly it was soon changed to hell, and all of a sudden Ed found himself facing a memory of when it had gone past horrible.

_The sound of a cracking bone resonated through out the room followed by a loud thud. The fallen figure held in the scream of sickening agony which threatened to come out at any second. He struggled hard to maintain a stable breath pattern, and knew full well his tormentor was enjoying the sight before him. _

_His instincts, which once told him to fight back, now only told him to not show any sign of pain. Once that happened, all hell would break loose and he would have more than a broken arm to deal with in the morning._

"_If I ever find you even looking at him again, you'll regret it." The dark haired man said with a slur as he unsteadily walked out of the room._

"_I'm sorry." He whispered as a small sob escaped his lips. _

So that was the end of Chapter 1. Please review, unnecessary flames will be used to torture your ass and make my popcorn:P


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